


Grand Design

by allofuswithwings



Category: Muse (Band)
Genre: Body Image, Dom/sub, Friends to Lovers, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV First Person, S&M, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28681917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofuswithwings/pseuds/allofuswithwings
Summary: Chris discovers he has needs that can’t be fulfilled by his significant other. But there is someone else that can satiate that appetite.
Relationships: Matt Bellamy/Chris Wolstenholme
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Imported from Livejournal/Dreamwidth. Originally published July 2009.

I’ve always found it funny how you can turn around to take a look at your life, your circumstances, and think, how the fuck did I get here?  
  
I mean, I remember the events unfolding as they did, bit by bit. I remember each conversation, each incident clearly in my mind.  
  
It’s not like all of this was some accident, or drunken night I don’t remember. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Everything we said, everything we did, was deliberate, controlled, rational.  
  
Maybe that’s why it seems all the more strange. Because it was all planned, all thought out and talked through.  
  
I guess the more important question really then becomes why. But I don’t have an answer for that.  
  
But like I said, it all began so normally. Another tour, another city, another night spent hanging out with my best mates. We’d had a few crazy after-gig parties of late, and so decided to have a quiet one back at the hotel.  
  
None of us were particularly sleepy just yet, too wired from the rush of adrenaline that good shows brought us, so loitered on the fourth floor around the pool tables and open-air seating. Tom and Dom were content with trying to squeeze money out from each other in endless games of pool, while myself and Matt took up residence further away outside around a small table.  
  
I suppose in hindsight, I could blame the post-gig high or jetlag, or something equally pathetic, but it would all be total bullshit. When the two of us started this first conversation, I hadn’t been drinking and I wasn’t delirious with exhaustion. I was perfectly rational, sober, sane and lucid.  
  
Don’t misunderstand me, discussions about sex weren’t at all out of the ordinary for us. Even for me, married with kids - I’d always been entirely happy and amused to join in dirty and intimate conversations about what we got up to in our sex lives, and with whom. I think it’s a bloke thing. And the four of us are so close, have lived in each other’s pockets for so long, that it’s really not an issue any of us would get squeamish about.  
  
But somehow, that night, things took a strange turn.  
  
Matt was talking about how he’d found a fabulous new shop online, and that he and Gaia were currently trying out a few items they hadn’t come across before.  
  
I quirked an eyebrow at him. A costume or prop for sex that Matt Bellamy hadn’t already thought of? Now that was surprising.  
  
“Fuck, I thought you’d already done it all,” I grinned.  
  
Matt laughed and nodded.  
  
“I know, me too,” he replied.  
  
He then cocked his head to one side thoughtfully.  
  
“But actually, I think I just didn’t really look into this stuff before,” he explained. “I think I, er, I think my tastes have changed.”  
  
I chuckled, nudging his shoe with my own.  
  
“What? Becoming more conservative in your old age?” I teased.  
  
Matt gave me a half-smile, a slightly confused look on his face. He shook his head.  
  
“No, er... kind of the opposite.”  
  
I sniggered, shaking my head at him.  
  
“How in the fuck can you get any more experimental in the bedroom, mate??” I asked. “If you haven’t bloody tried it, then it can’t be done!”  
  
He laughed a little at this, but I noticed him shift in his seat.  
  
“Well, I know, there isn’t a lot I can say that I haven’t done,” he agreed. “But I’ve always really allowed myself to be led... had things done for me and to me. Rather than be the one in control.”  
  
I won’t deny that my ears pricked up at this, but at the time I didn’t have the slightest inkling of what that could have meant. I didn’t know what was to come for me and him, that would change our whole world.  
  
“So, what? You mean, you want to be dominant rather than submissive now?” I probed.  
  
It was no secret that Matt enjoyed the obedience role when it came to sex. Dom had informed me of this very early on in their escapades together in Japan years ago. Matt liked to be ordered about, tied up and held down, and wasn’t ashamed of it in the least if any of us dared ask him about it. But apparently that wasn’t the case anymore.  
  
Matt nodded, a strange glow developing in his eyes.  
  
“Yeah, I think I’ve had my fill of submission. Getting a taste for the power-trip that comes with being in charge,” he explained.  
  
I watched his fingers twitch restlessly on the table, and he licked his lips.  
  
“They have some great stuff on that website,” he said, his voice lower. “All kinds of gags and cuffs, whips and ties. So many things I want to try out.”  
  
I gave him an amused half-smile, and was only barely aware of the shiver that skittered across my skin at the mention of those items.  
  
“But...?” I prodded.  
  
He sighed and shifted again.  
  
“Gaia doesn’t want to. Some of it, anyway,” he said quickly. “Though I don’t exactly blame her. It can be a bit, uh, intense.”  
  
Anyone else would have pointed out his strange contradiction in this: he wanted to be dominant but he didn’t want to put Gaia through that. Logically, it didn’t make sense. But I didn’t call him on it. I agreed with him instead.  
  
“Yeah, it’s a bit rough sometimes, some of that can be,” I said. “It’s not for everyone.”  
  
“Speaking from experience?” he asked.  
  
I chuckled.  
  
“No, not really,” I admitted. “Me and Kells have dabbled in some light stuff but I never felt comfortable getting really rough with her, I don’t think I’ve got it in me.”  
  
Matt raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Well, what about for you?” he enquired.  
  
I swallowed, and flicked a quick glance back at Tom and Dom. They were still completely preoccupied with their game.  
  
“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice suddenly small.  
  
I knew what he meant.  
  
“Has she ever gotten rough with you?”  
  
I shook my head, feeling my belly tighten.  
  
“Nah. Little bit of the handcuffs but that’s all.”  
  
Matt smiled just slightly. My eyes met his own, which glittered in the moonlight.  
  
“Oh, you’re missing out.”  
  
His voice was rough, still low, and I should have left right then. It might sound like it was all his doing - that I was just some unfortunate fool that fell into his trap, but that really wasn’t the case. It wasn’t as though I didn’t realise what he was up to, where he was trying to lead the conversation. I did, I just didn’t stop him.  
  
“Am I?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“How’s that then?”  
  
By this stage, he’d turned himself toward me, fingers stretched out across the table, his eyes tracking over my face in thought.  
  
“Well, there’s this amazing rush you get being completely at someone else’s mercy. The lack of control is scary, yeah, but the payoff is fucking fantastic,” he explained. “Not to mention the teasing. Fuck, that can be good.”  
  
Thinking back on it now, I don’t think Matt was being deliberately devious or perverse at the time. I think I was curious about his experiences with submission, and he was equally curious about my inexperience with it. And we were best friends after all, so it wasn’t uncomfortable venturing into this territory.  
  
“Yeah, I know what you mean about the tease - I fucking love that. It drives me nuts, but I suppose that’s why it’s so good. Makes me fucking crazy, makes me want, just _need_...”  
  
I rubbed the back of my neck at this point, feeling hot in t-shirt and jeans all of a sudden.  
  
“Ah, so you do have weaknesses like the rest of us mere mortals then, Mr. Wolstenholme,” Matt grinned. “I was beginning to think you were the untouchable, perfect gentleman.”  
  
I shook my head, smiling and meeting Matt’s eyes again.  
  
“Fuck no, and certainly not when it comes to that,” I admitted. “What I wouldn’t give for...”  
  
I trailed off, looking away, my fingers playing at the side seam of my jeans.  
  
“What? For what?”  
  
“No, it’s just...nah, doesn’t matter.”  
  
“Fucking spit it out, come on.”  
  
I swallowed and sat up a bit straighter in my seat.  
  
“Like you said, to be at someone else’s mercy, have no control and be teased until I lost my mind,” I said finally, biting my lip.  
  
When I looked up at Matt again, he had a strange, unreadable expression on his face. Then he looked away again, glancing up at the stars.  
  
“So just ask Kelly, I’m sure she’ll be more than willing if you tell her exactly what you want,” he suggested.  
  
I shrugged.  
  
“I kind of have, although maybe not outright,” I explained. “But I think she doesn’t quite know what I mean. She isn’t rough enough, strict enough. Not her fault though, she’s not that kind of person.”  
  
I could feel Matt’s eyes on me, though he didn’t speak as I paused for a few moments. I think he knew there was more I wanted to say.  
  
“Also, I don’t think she...um...she’s not...”  
  
I sighed.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I don’t think she actually can, physically, I mean. I’m a big fucking guy, and it’s pretty bloody hard to move me, force me and treat me roughly.”  
  
Matt snorted.  
  
“Ah, bollocks, you don’t necessarily need to be bigger than the other person to control them,” he stated. “That’s what the restraints and all that shit are for. It’s more about intent and frame of mind.”  
  
I shook my head.  
  
“Maybe that’s part of it, but their body has to come into it at some point,” I reasoned. “I think I’m just destined to always be dominant.”  
  
“Fuck off, you could take the submissive role if you wanted. It’s really not that difficult for someone to take control of you.”  
  
“It is though. No-one’s strong enough.”  
  
“It’s not about strength.”  
  
“They just couldn’t, okay?”  
  
“I reckon I could.”  
  
And there it was. The sentence that did it - that changed everything. The words that should never have been spoken, but for some reason emerged from Matt’s lips that night.  
  
I remember the way his eyes became locked on mine the second he’d said it, and the dawning realisation that came over both of us. The atmosphere shifted so dramatically with just four words, my heart pounding in my ears.  
  
“You what?”  
  
I finally managed to speak, my voice somehow not sounding hysterical, despite what I was feeling.  
  
Matt blinked, his gaze still fixed on me and he frowned slightly, his mouth fallen open. Then he swallowed and bit his lip.  
  
“I reckon I could dominate you.”  
  
The words gave me shivers, my blood running hot through my veins. My mouth felt dry, and if my hands hadn’t been holding onto my thighs, I’m sure they would have been shaking like mad. I had to break eye contact with him to keep any semblance of sanity.  
  
“Matt-”  
  
I cut myself off, unable to speak any further, because I had absolutely no idea what to say to that.  
  
“I’m just saying, it’s not a fucking difficult thing,” he informed me. “I’m half your size but I’m pretty sure I could do a decent job of tying you down and treating you rough if you wanted it.”  
  
I looked back up at him with wide eyes, and could not mistake the fire within those icy blue depths. He wasn’t _just saying_.  
  
“But you’d have to really want to do that for it to work, be dominant with me and not back down,” I found myself saying. “You’d have to commit completely and be fearless.”  
  
The corners of Matt’s mouth curled upwards slightly.  
  
“You know I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge,” he said. “I like to push boundaries.”  
  
His eyes drew away from mine for a few moments to track down over my body before rising back up, glittering. I felt heat rush to my cheeks as I realised he was checking me out. My head was screaming at me, _What the fuck is going on?? This is Matt!!_  
  
“Don’t do that,” I said, my voice strained.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Look at me like that.”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“For fuck’s sake, you know like what. Just don’t.”  
  
Giving up the charade, Matt shrugged.  
  
“I was just thinking, Chris.”  
  
“I know what you were thinking, and don’t.”  
  
“But you just said – ”  
  
“I know. But I don’t know why I said that. It’s crazy, okay, just forget it.”  
  
Matt shifted in his seat and leaned further over the table to look at me.  
  
“It’s not that crazy,” he said quietly. “It would be interesting.”  
  
I looked over at him incredulously. My heart threatened to pound right out of my chest.  
  
“No, don’t even go there,” I said shakily.  
  
“We both have needs. Well, things we want that our other halves can’t give us,” he explained. “It would just be mutual fulfilment.”  
  
“Don’t try to fucking rationalise it. It’s fucking insane,” I hissed.  
  
“Maybe. But you still didn’t say you didn’t want it.”  
  
I swallowed hard. Pressing my hands flat against the surface of the table, I took a nervous breath.  
  
“I don’t want it. I don’t want anything from you, okay?” I lied.  
  
Matt moved so quickly, I had no time to react, and found myself pulled roughly across the table toward him, his fingers gripped around my wrists, holding them together and pulling my face close. He must have seen the expression that washed over my features at being treated this way, because he smiled.  
  
“You don’t like this, then? Don’t like it forced, rough, _dirty_?”  
  
The last word was growled out, and I can’t even begin to describe how it made me feel, hearing it fall from his lips. So I panicked, pulling my hands away from his and sitting back down properly in my seat. I took a deep breath, staring down at my shoes.  
  
“No, I don’t. Just drop it, okay?” I said quietly.  
  
He just shrugged and tipped his head slightly, watching me for a few moments. Then he turned his attentions back to the night sky, stars twinkling above.  
  
“Okay, Chris,” he said finally. “But the offer is there, if you want it.”  
  
And that should have been the end of it. It really should. It had been talked over, and I had refused the proposal, and Matt hadn’t pushed me any further. I’d said no, he’d accepted it. There was no coercion or blackmail or anything like that. Which is why I’m still at a loss to explain why it went further than that conversation.


	2. Chapter 2

In the following days, I couldn’t get it out of my head. The idea, the proposal, just lodged itself into my brain and wouldn’t leave me be. I even tried to banish it by telling Kelly outright that I wanted to be dominated, and needed her to be rough with me. And she tried, she really did, but her heart wasn’t quite in it, I don’t think.  
  
I think there’s something that grows inside you when you fall in love with someone, where it becomes almost impossible to hurt them physically, even if they want you to. I wanted her to restrain me, tease me badly, hurt me, but she cared too much to push it over that line. I needed to be tortured and she wasn’t the one to do it.  
  
And the more I tried to suppress it, the stronger the thoughts would return, and I became unable to look at Matt in the same way as I had done before.  
  
I’d see the way the muscles in his back would shift and tense under his shirt when he was on the piano, and the wiry definition of his arms and legs as he’d strangle his guitar during a riff and heave it about. Horrible little voices would whisper other possible uses for that toned body: tying me up, holding me down, whipping me, forcing me, and fucking me.  
  
That last one was the breaking point I think. Never before in my life had I had the slightest inclination to be fucked by anyone. But slipping into the mindset of the masochist, I wanted it. I wanted Matt to fuck me, and for it to hurt and be utterly degrading. It terrified and thrilled me in equal measure.  
  
I think it was a week or two after our initial conversation that I cracked. There was nothing particularly distinctive about the day, and nothing really different in Matt’s behaviour, or mine for that matter. By that time, Matt’s proposal had taken up permanent residence in my head, floating on the edges of my subconscious all the time, but I was starting to get used to it. But for some reason, a switch got flicked in my brain that day, and the decision was suddenly made, clear in my mind.  
  
After walking off stage from an amazing gig, I followed Matt back to the dressing room and walked inside behind him, shutting the door. He turned to look at me quizzically, drying the sweat off his face with a towel before throwing it down on the couch.  
  
“Chris...?”  
  
I didn’t say anything; there were no more words left to say on this subject. I slipped a hand behind his neck and pulled him toward me, crushing my lips against his own.  
  
To say it wasn’t at least a little bit weird at first would be a lie. This was my best mate I was kissing, apart from the fact that I hadn’t kissed anyone other than Kelly for more than 10 years now. But I was determined, thoughts of what he could do to me rushing through my head and fuelling my hunger. I stepped back to press us against the back of the dressing room door, pulling his body with me so he could pin me there.  
  
It took him a moment to process what was happening - he didn’t respond to my kisses at first and I felt his body tense in confusion. But as soon as a quiet groan left my throat at him holding me against the door, realisation and desire swept over him and he opened his mouth to slip his tongue out.  
  
His fingers curled around my wrist and pinned it against the wood, the bony frame of his body suddenly more than a match for me as he dug into me roughly at hips and chest. His other hand snaked it’s way up to my throat, holding me firmly and not at all kindly as he kissed me. His mouth was brutal, uncompromising, in it’s claim over mine, and the rush that I’d been waiting for swept over me without warning, making me groan again.  
  
Then he tore his mouth away, his hands still at my wrist and throat, eyes quickly locking onto mine, filled with fire.  
  
“Changed your mind, then?”  
  
I nodded, breathing hard. The restraint felt good, and I didn’t want to fight it.  
  
I heard voices outside the door, and Matt’s eyes left my own as he too recognised that we didn’t have much time left alone.  
  
His gaze fixed back on me again and he licked his lips.  
  
“Come to my hotel room tonight, after drinks are done and everyone’s headed off to bed,” he murmured, his voice low. “If this is what you want.”  
  
I swallowed and took in a sharp breath as his grip on my throat tightened slightly.  
  
“It is.”  
  
Matt released me, and no sooner had I stepped away from the door, Dom and Morgan came barrelling in through it, chattering away on their post-gig high. I excused myself quickly, citing a dire need to take a piss, and rushed out the door before they could see the state I was in.  
  
I was battling to calm my rock-hard cock - something I certainly didn’t want Dom, Morgan or anyone else to notice I was sporting after being alone in a dressing room with Matt. They couldn’t know about this. No-one could. They wouldn’t understand. Although I’m still not entirely sure I do.  
  
*  
  
The rest of that night seemed to drag on forever. I was jittery, short-tempered and distant the whole time we hung out at the bar, and I could feel Matt’s eyes on me every now and then, observing my behaviour. I was distracted by what was to come, he could tell, though he himself seemed perfectly fine. He’s always been good at putting up a front, disguising his true feelings. But not me. I couldn’t even bring myself to have a beer, I was too nervous and didn’t want to put this all down to me being drunk and uninhibited.  
  
Dom, Morgan and Tom made the assumption I was tired and missing Kelly, and I didn’t correct them. What the fuck would I say anyway, other than the truth? I’ve never been that good at lying, not to them, and didn’t trust myself to string together a coherent enough excuse that night.  
  
Finally, after what seemed like hours of me trying to make small-talk and attempt a decent showing, the numbers in the bar started to dwindle and I took the chance to escape. Dom had already disappeared out to the balcony earlier on with some fawning brunette, and there was no way I was disturbing him then to say goodnight. So I farewelled Morgan and Tom, who were unsurprised at my bailing, before making my way over to Matt.  
  
He was cosied up in a corner with several female and male revellers, all of whom were making no secret of how interested they were in him. Desire radiated off them in the way they spoke to him, looked at him, and touched him, barely treading the line of appropriateness given that he was spoken for. But Matt, as usual, hardly fought them off, and simply soaked up the worship and sexually charged atmosphere.  
  
When I approached, I saw him pause in conversation, and a scarcely-noticeable wave of tension washed through his body. I had to swallow hard and ball a fist to keep my composure as his eyes met mine. Especially when that wide grin spread across his face.  
  
“Come to join us, Chris?”  
  
His voice dripped with seduction, and I had to remind myself that he’d been drinking and hanging around with his disciples all night - his flirting was not personal. Not right now.  
  
I managed to split a wry smile and shook my head.  
  
“Nah, I’m turning in for the night, I’ll catch you tomorrow, yeah?”  
  
I saw his eyes flick in assessment of the group around him, and he licked his lips, nodding.  
  
“Yeah, fair enough. I’ll probably head off soon too. Need some rest for tomorrow’s rehearsal.”  
  
That was a lie; we didn’t have rehearsal until the afternoon, so he wouldn’t need to get to bed at a reasonable hour. All doubts I’d had about him forgetting or no longer being interested in our arrangement disappeared from my head in that instant. Matt wanted to ditch them so he could retreat back to his hotel room and wait for me. My stomach turned somersaults at the thought.  
  
“You do,” I agreed.  
  
I nodded a farewell, noting the disappointment in the faces of Matt’s admirers at his intentions of an early night, before shuffling off with a tight chest and dizzy head.  
  
*  
  
  
I’d given it about an hour, busying myself nervously in my room almost the entire time, before showering and changing to get ready for the night ahead. I’d jumped a mile when my phone buzzed with a received message: it was Matt.  
  
**_I’m back. You can come over whenever you’re ready._**  
  
Short, to the point, and nothing to give away what he was truly inviting me over for. It was smart, careful, and I was glad one of us had half a brain to think of being subtle about this.  
  
I’d checked my pockets to make sure I had my wallet and keys, then grabbed my phone and headed out the door. I was ready for this.  
  
By the time I arrived at Matt’s hotel room, my stomach was full of butterflies. I lingered outside the door for a minute or so, my eyes boring a hole through the wood, unable to bring myself to knock on it. Okay, I lied, I wasn’t ready for this.  
  
I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and ran a sweaty hand through my already damp hair. I was about to do one of the most morally-reprehensible things I’d ever done in my life: cheat. With my best friend, no less.  
  
Not only that, I was volunteering myself to be on the receiving end of Matt’s hunger for power and dominance, however that chose to manifest itself. We hadn’t discussed exactly what Matt had in mind, but knowing him, it wasn’t likely to be conservative. The thought made me extremely nervous. But that was part of the thrill, the reason I was standing there.  
  
I knocked on the door with a shaking hand, my mouth suddenly dry, despite the fact that I still hadn’t drunk any alcohol that night. The door opened and I was greeted by a slightly dishevelled Matt, though a sly grin played on his lips.  
  
I smiled weakly and entered, my hands shoved into my pockets to disguise their trembling. My cheeks suddenly felt very hot, and I unbuttoned my shirt slightly, slipping my jacket off. I threw it over the back of the small couch and then returned my hands to their place in my jeans.  
  
Matt’s eyes followed my every movement, and I felt my skin prickle under his heated gaze. I suddenly felt horribly self conscious, adding to my guilt about my wife and fear of what he had planned. All in all, I was fucking terrified.  
  
Matt offered me a drink but I declined. He poured himself a wine and sipped at it casually, his eyes still wandering up and down my body as he did so. How he could be so calm about this, I had no fucking idea. That, or he was just incredibly good at hiding how nervous he was. Unlike me.  
  
I shifted uncomfortably, unused to being scrutinized like that by him, my body feeling much too large and ungainly to be remotely close to what he’d like. I didn’t really understand why he wanted me, of all people, to be the one he tested his boundaries with. He could have any number of women, or men, of any type, lining up outside his door as willing volunteers.  
  
Shit, if I was going to honest and say it was just about trust, he could well have asked just about anyone in our tour group, including Dom or Tom, and they’d at least consider it. Matt is a charismatic and attractive man, so it was somewhat of a shock that I was even invited for this to start with.  
  
I coughed, my throat still dry, and my gaze drawn over to the doorway that led to the bedroom, that I knew was to be the focus for the evening. Matt followed my gaze and noticed my tense posture.  
  
“We don’t have to do this, you know,” he said, polishing off his wine. “I’m not going to get all upset and offended if you change your mind. It was just an idea.”  
  
My fingers fidgeted around the band of my wedding ring, my damp skin making it easier to twist and slide it around in its place.  
  
“I know.”  
  
Matt watched me play with my ring, his expression growing slightly more serious.  
  
“We can just forget about it if you want, Chris,” he said. “Just pretend nothing ever happened. I won’t mention it again.”  
  
His tone wasn’t annoyed or petulant; he meant what he said, and for once I was glad about his bracing honesty. I knew then he wanted this to be a choice for me - he didn’t want it to seem pressured or some kind of slip up that either of us could make excuses for later. That was exactly what I wanted too.  
  
I met his eyes then. His gaze was piercing and questioning and I clenched my jaw, forcing myself not to break the contact. I knew Matt would not go through with this if he thought I had too many doubts - having completely willing parties in his sexual experimentation was a firm rule he’d kept over the years. I took a deep breath.  
  
“I want this. I _need_ this,” I said quietly.  
  
Matt continued to watch me, and I could see his mind working a mile a minute behind those eyes.  
  
“I need... you... to show me my limits,” I explained, my heart pounding in my chest.  
  
He set his wine glass down on the table and approached me slowly, a wave of heat washing over my skin involuntarily at his increasing proximity. He stood directly in front of me, levelling his gaze with mine. Matt’s eyes searched for a few moments more, and then he lifted a hand to run his middle and index fingers along my jaw line, barely touching the skin there. I just stood transfixed, not sure what to do, if anything. He traced his thumb over my Adam’s apple, which bobbed under his touch, before spreading the rest of his hand across my throat and tightening his grip.  
  
“I won’t just show you your limits,” he informed me, a slight edge to his voice. “I’ll push you past them until you break, and beg me to stop. And even then I won’t.”  
  
His breath was warm and alcohol-soaked on my face, and my breath hitched at the closeness of his lips to mine. They were wet, soft, inviting, and my eyes followed the shapes they made as he spoke to me.  
  
“I’m going to tease you, torture you, hurt you, and certainly won’t be showing you any mercy,” Matt continued, his voice turning into a growl now. “I want you to know that now, and be sure about this.”  
  
I swallowed, still nervous, but his words, his descriptions of what he would do to me had set a fire in my belly that I couldn’t control. My pulse raced under his hand, and I felt a sweat starting to grow on my neck and down the middle of my chest. I flared my nostrils, inhaling as my eyelids grew heavy, and my dick stirred in my jeans.  
  
“Fuck, I’m sure,” I replied, my voice husky and strained slightly.  
  
He opened his mouth to confirm further, but I cut him off.  
  
“ _Please_.”  
  
The tone had a desperate edge to it, exposing just how vulnerable he could make me if he wished. A devilish smile spread across his face and his eyes glowed with the awareness of his dominance over me. He licked his lips before barely grazing them over mine in tease. I whimpered, involuntarily.  
  
“Let’s get started then,” Matt murmured.


	3. Chapter 3

I waited for Matt to make the first move. After all, he was going to be the one in charge the entire night anyway, so it made sense he should decide how to start.

He pulled back from me a little, hand still at my neck, and levelled his gaze with mine.

“Here’s my rules...”

“Rules?” I asked.

“Yes. _My_ rules, that’s the way this works. Okay?”

I nodded, feeling my hands tremble a little. “Okay.”

“First of all, what’s the safe word going to be?” he enquired.

“Safe word?”

“You know, the one you say to get me to stop when I actually might injure you.”

“I know what a safe word is.”

“Oh. Good.”

“I just didn’t think...” I trailed off, shrugging.

Matt stared at me with dark eyes from under long lashes, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly in a knowing smirk. “Didn’t think we’d need one?” he finished. “Trust me, you will.”

I swallowed, hard. I knew what I was getting myself into with Matt, but it was still a little terrifying to hear him say things like that.

“Okay,” I said finally. “Um... I don’t know...”

Matt loosened his grip on my throat, his hand trailing down to rest on my collarbone, fingers tracing back and forth along my skin. It felt surprisingly nice, the delicate caress of those long digits; Matt could clearly be gentle when he wanted to. I made the most of enjoying the soft, pleasant touch, because I knew this would probably be the last of it for the night.

He cocked his head, his eyes never leaving mine. “Well, it should be something that doesn’t sound like anything else you might say when, erm, when in the heat of the moment,” he explained. “Nothing like ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘stop’, ‘please’, ‘more’.”

“Or ‘oh God Matt that’s it right there’?” I asked, feeling bold, a smile on my lips.

Matt’s smirk widened into a full blown grin, and his eyes flashed, clearly enjoying me flirting with him like this. “Exactly,” he purred, inching his face closer to mine again.

He brushed his lips over my own, breathing heatedly into my open mouth, his eyelids drooping. He continued to watch me as he nipped at my lips, the motions so slight and feathery it made my lips tingle and heart race a mile a minute.

His hand snaked up the back of my neck and wound its way along my scalp. His bony fingers tangled in my short hair, gripping me firmly but not too roughly yet, just using his hold to guide our motions. But it was enough to let me know that he was the one in control of this kiss.

Matt didn’t quite close his mouth over mine, just drew his lips over enough to tease and make it seem like he would engage at any moment. But his tongue never snaked out, he only panted heavily into my open mouth, the sensation making my head spin and body ache in frustration. Shit, he was good at this, and he was only just beginning.

Almost unconsciously, I tilted my head down in an attempt to seal the kiss, but his grip in my hair tightened and he pulled me back. His eyes flashed with something that looked like indignation, and the hard expression on his face that followed made my stomach drop.

I stopped, feeling the need to cower, though he was a good few inches shorter than me. It was in that moment that I realised he was right about what he’d said those weeks before – it didn’t matter your physical size if you could project an attitude like that. The aura of dominance, control and aggression about him was enough for him to easily slip into that role, and for me to succumb to it willingly.

“That’s another rule,” he growled. “You have to do what I say, and _only_ what I say. I’m in charge.”

“I know.”

“I mean it, Chris. I’m not fucking around here,” he insisted. “If I tell you to do something, you _do_ it. And if there’s something you want, you have to ask me first. You can’t just kiss me whenever you feel like it, right?”

I nodded again. “I know, I get it.”

“Good. Cos I’m not doing this by halves,” he informed me. “You want me to be dominant, so that’s what you’ll get. Completely. All or nothing.”

I understood what he meant by that. I knew the kind of person Matt was. He would immerse himself entirely in the part he was to play, and there’d be no going back once he’d done it. As seen by the rest of the world through his music, he could be extremely intense and get lost in something so much you’d hardly recognise him as the same silly, self-effacing, pint-sized bloke he normally was. He could transform himself like that sometimes.

“Okay, that’s what I want,” I reiterated. “Just... I’m not like you, it might take me some time to get used to the submission, so go easy.”

Matt grinned wickedly, his eyelids drooping. “Not a chance.”

I smiled slightly. “You know what I mean,” I said. “Not the physical side – my attitude. It might be a while before I stop talking back.”

Matt leaned in again, pressing his lips slowly against mine, finally sealing us in a kiss, brief though it was. He then opened his mouth against mine again to capture my bottom lip between his teeth. He bit down gently at first, increasing the pressure incrementally until my skin started to throb with the dull pain, and I groaned. I felt him smile against my mouth and he released my lip before lapping at the inflicted area with his warm, wet tongue.

“That’s okay, I won’t mind if you talk back a bit,” he murmured. “Means I get to punish you for it. And I _am_ looking forward to punishing you, you know.”

If I hadn’t been turned on by his teasing earlier, the small inflictions of pain now and promise for more later entirely guaranteed it from that moment on. I was hard as fuck, pressed out against the fabric of my boxers and jeans, and my heart hammered in my chest to further pump those rushing hormones around my body.

I was having a tough time comprehending just how quickly Matt could turn me on, and only really with words and a few touches of his mouth on mine. I had the sudden realisation that this experiment I was embarking on was going to bring me intense pleasure the likes of which I’d probably never felt before. By some freak of coincidence, or perverse plan of the universe, Matthew Bellamy was the person who knew how to push all my buttons in the bedroom and wouldn’t be afraid to do it. Over and over again.

“ _Fuck_...”

It was all I could muster with the multitude of sex-saturated thoughts running through my head and Matt’s body and mouth so close to mine. He grinned again.

“Later. Be patient.”

The joke was terrible but I didn’t care, just stared at him from under heavy eyelids and my breath coming in heavy pants. I had never wanted a man so much before in my life. I had never wanted _anyone_ this much before.

Matt decided to give me a little relief, closing his lips completely over my own and slipping his tongue into my mouth to kiss me properly. His fingers were still firm at the back of my head, guiding us as we kissed, and I didn’t bother to try to fight against it this time. I let him kiss me how he wanted, his way, the sensations of his tongue curling around mine and probing every part of my mouth both completely foreign and completely incredible. I twitched in my trousers, my cock desperately wanting more than just kisses, and I revelled in the frustration.

When Matt broke away from me, I was breathing hard and a little embarrassed to find myself shaking from the adrenaline rush. Matt’s pupils were dilated, a look I found strangely appealing, and his eyes glossy and cheeks flushed with his own arousal. Despite what he’d suggested those weeks ago, and the position we were in now, it was still bewildering to think that he wanted me in this way, and I couldn’t help the thoughts from tumbling out my mouth.

“Why me?”

Matt’s expression was one of confusion. “What?”

My eyes tracked over his face and I licked my lips. “Why do you want me for... this?” I asked, gesturing weakly. “I mean, it could be anyone, you could have anybody at all...”

Matt watched me for a few moments before answering.

“Because it requires a level of trust that we already have, as friends,” he explained. “I suppose I could use money to buy that kind of guarantee with someone, but it’s not that same. It’s not what I want.”

I nodded slightly and shifted. “But there’s others you could have that with too...” I said slowly. “Like Dom or whatever...”

Matt smirked, raising an eyebrow. “You think I want to do this with Dom?” he asked. “Thought you’d given up the ‘Matt and Dom are shagging’ idea a long time ago?”

I shrugged. “That’s not how I meant it, I just meant cos you have the same amount of trust with him as well,” I clarified.

“Well, he’s too much like me, attitude and build wise, so it wouldn’t be as fun,” Matt explained. “And he’s too skinny, too pretty for what I want.”

I chuckled a little but cocked my head. “Tom then?” I suggested. “I don’t know...”

Matt shook his head. “No, it’s you I want,” he said, his voice still tinted with confusion. “Is that okay?”

I smiled wryly and shrugged, running a hand over my face. “Yeah, I just don’t really understand it, that’s all.”

Matt lifted his hand to take my jaw between his fingers and make me meet his eyes. “You don’t understand why I’d want you?” he asked.

I looked away, not answering him, feeling foolish. Of course I didn’t understand. How could I?

“Shit, Chris, come on, just look at you,” he said.

My gaze floated back to his, surprise flooding my features. I wasn’t really sure what he meant by that.

“How could I _not_ want you?” Matt asked, his lips curling into a wolfish smile. “You’re fucking fit.”

I had to laugh at this, and Matt chuckled too. It sounded ridiculous, my own band mate and mostly straight best friend telling me he wanted me and thought I was attractive. Such a strange situation we found ourselves in.

“Seriously though, if you’re worrying about whether I actually find you physically attractive or am just turned on by the rush of the role-playing, you don’t have to,” he informed me. “Believe me, my body likes what it sees and feels.”

His longer fingers wrapped around the wrist of my right hand and he guided it between us to the front of his trousers. Sliding his fingers down over my hand, he pressed my open palm between his legs, forcing me to feel him.

_Fuck_ , he was as hard as I was, his erection hot and straining against the thin fabric of his trousers.

His gaze was smouldering, lips parted slightly in a way that was intentionally suggestive and designed to turn me on. Coupled with the feel of his hard cock under my hand, it was working a treat.

“This is what you do to me, Chris,” he breathed. “Just touching and looking at you is enough, even before we’ve started all this properly.”

My fingers itched to mould around and press down on him, make him moan, but I remembered what he’d said only a few minutes ago.

“So I... I turn you on then?” I asked, my voice weak. “Just me?”

Matt pushed harder with his hand, pressing my fingers around his length and groaning at the contact. “Fuck, yes,” he muttered. “I made myself come the other night just thinking about you.”

I choked at this, taking my hand away from its intimate position on Matt and stepping back slightly. I ran a hand over my face and bit my lip, groaning quietly.

“Fucking hell, Matt, don’t _say_ shit like that,” I sighed, shaking my head.

He grinned at me again, the mix of arousal and amusement in his demeanour a surprisingly attractive combination. He did cheeky sexuality very well, I should’ve known that by now.

“Well, it’s true, and you wanted to know if I want you physically,” he purred.

I knew I’d walked right into it, offering Matt free reign to show me if he wanted me, so I shouldn’t have been shocked that he’d been so blunt about it.

“I know,” I admitted. “Just the sound of you saying that...”

I swallowed, closing my eyes for a moment. I felt Matt move close to me again, and he slipped both of his slim hands up either side of my neck to hold my head. When I opened my eyes, I was met with his fiery blue ones.

“What?” he asked, almost passing for innocent. “ _Come_?”

I exhaled heavily onto his face, and he pulled my forehead down onto his, bringing our faces closer still. My mouth hung open and he watched with interest the way I reacted to his words. I nodded, feeling my cheeks heat with embarrassment.

“You don’t want me to tell you that I thought about fucking you?” he pressed on. “And that it made me come so fucking hard all over myself?”

My eyes rolled back into my head and I groaned. That shouldn’t sound appealing, shouldn’t sound good at all, I knew it, but it did. My cock ached in reply to his words.

“I had my cock in my fist, beating it so bloody fast, imagining that I was inside you instead,” he grunted, tilting his head a little and letting out a soft moan. “I wanted to be coming inside you, fucking you and hearing you beg for it. I wanted to feel you around me when you were coming too.”

“ _Christ_...”

The words were filthy, the images more so, and I was trembling in anticipation of having that play out for real. I opened my eyes to see Matt’s own heavy-lidded, looking up at me with a desire that I’d never seen directed at me before. I believed then that he wanted me.

“I w-want you to do that, I want that so much...” I said quietly.

“You want me to fuck you like that?” he asked, his tone thick with desire.

I nodded, and moaned as his tongue licked a path across my bottom lip.

“Say it,” he growled.

I let out a shaky breath, desperate to taste his mouth again. “I want you to fuck me, _please_ ,” I whispered.

“How?” he asked. “How do you want it? Do you want me to be gentle with you?”

I shook my head, biting my lip. “I want it hard,” I told him, my voice pathetically weak. “And rough, dirty. I want you to hold me down.”

He smiled and shifted his face to pull my head down and press his lips to my ear. “Do you want me to humiliate you?” Matt asked.

I nodded, feeling my breaths hitch in my chest. His tongue curled around my earlobe, wet and teasing, and my eyelids fluttered in response.

“Want me to tie you up? Spread your legs?”

I nodded again at each of his questions, the words making me desperate for more than just this.

“How about if I put my fingers inside you? Do you like that? Want me to finger-fuck you?”

I groaned. Normally, no, no fucking way would I want something like that. But this wasn’t normal; this was my descent into a new world, and the rules had changed.

I heard Matt chuckle.

“You want me to stick my fingers in there, eh? Like the sound of that? You’re fucking filthy, Chris,” he murmured, breathing into my ear. “That’s what you’ll get then. Only then I’ll shove my cock in place of my fingers and make you feel me deep inside you. Fuck you ’til you scream.”

Before I could let out the moan that was trying to escape me, Matt closed his mouth over mine again and kissed me. This time it was harder, deeper and faster than before; there was no more teasing in it, just the rough taking of what he wanted from me. The noise of frustration and pleasure still sounded in my throat and I breathed heavily through my nose as Matt’s mouth smothered my own.

When he pulled away, I was a wreck again. I was aroused beyond belief, able to feel the damp spot in my boxers from my pre-come, and my breaths laboured in my ribcage. I swallowed and lifted my hands to rest on the sides of Matt’s arms.

“Yes, fuck, I want that. _Please_ can we go to the bedroom now?” I begged. “Please, Matt.”

He giggled at me, a flash of mischief in his eyes.

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” he said, his voice velvety smooth. “But you still didn’t think of a safe word yet. We need that before we go any further.”

Racking my brains, I tried to think of something, _anything_ , so we could get on with this. I tried think of something obscure, something easy, something that couldn’t be mistaken for anything else.

“Well, you always say nothing rhymes with orange, right?” I suggested.

Matt’s smile widened and he nodded. “Perfect.”

I let out a sigh of relief, and Matt dropped his hands from behind my neck to grab me by the biceps. His smile vanished and he leaned his face impossibly close to mine, our noses just touching.

“Now get in the fucking bedroom, Chris.”


	4. Chapter 4

  
  
  
  
All the air disappeared from my lungs when he growled those words at me, my body flaring with desire at such a simple expression. I didn’t need telling twice.  
  
Matt released my arms and I turned, hurriedly, nervously, toward the bedroom door, my mind struggling to catch up with what my body was more than ready for. I felt Matt hovering right behind me as I made my way in, his authoritative presence now invading every inch of the hotel room.  
  
He strode over to turn on the side table lamp, bathing the room in a soft, yellow glow that settled my nerves a little. I shuffled awkwardly toward the bed as he shut the door, sealing the two of us in the room; our private bubble of experimentation. There was no allowance for self-deception now. I was doing this, I was _really_ doing this.  
  
My hands fidgeted at my sides, fingers kneading the fabric of my jeans and t-shirt as I waited for Matt to get us started. Even if I’d wanted to break my role and be the one to instigate the first kiss or touch in here, I simply couldn’t at that moment. I was too bloody anxious, too overwhelmed by the situation to even know what to do.  
  
I expected Matt to march over to me then, kiss me hard and shove me down onto the bed. But he didn’t. He watched me carefully for a moment with those fiery blue eyes, then moved away to settle himself down in the armchair to one side of the bed. Shifting a leg up to cross his ankle over one knee, he leaned back and brought his hand up to rest at his chin.  
  
“Take your clothes off.”  
  
He took one of his fingers between his teeth, gazing at me expectantly.  
  
I exhaled shakily, the words not quite sinking in properly at first. I bit my lip, swallowing, my stomach turning with discomfort and eyes widening slightly.  
  
“But, um...”  
  
I shifted, sweat starting to gather down my spine and I scratched at the back of my neck with one hand.  
  
Matt’s eyes flashed and he lifted an eyebrow at me in threat. “No, Chris. No discussion,” he said curtly. “I want you to undress for me.”  
  
My head was cursing at me, a combination of _fuck_ and _shit_ and _God damnit_ repeated over and over in panic. I hadn’t anticipated this, and had no idea why Matt would even want it. But it was too late now. I’d said I was willing to be at his mercy and do what he said, so I needed to suck it up and get on with it.  
  
I took a deep breath, my gaze dropping to the floor. I couldn’t look at him while I did this; I was afraid of what I’d see in his face as I took my clothes off. Of course, he’d seen me in various states of undress plenty of times, and stark naked on more than one occasion, but this was different. He’d never deliberately watched me like this, and not with the hunger and intention present in his eyes that night.  
  
Starting with the simple, I toed off my sneakers and shoved them to one side. When I began to pull at the bottom of my t-shirt, he spoke again.  
  
“Slowly.”  
  
_Fuck_. He was determined to make this even more excruciating than it already was. I’d asked for humiliation, and I was getting it.  
  
My hands were shaking as I lifted my shirt up, drawing it up bit by bit to reveal my navel, belly and bottom of my ribs. As I got to my chest, I lifted my arms up, pulling the shirt over my head, and felt relieved to be able to cover my face for at least a few seconds. As well as still remaining concentrated between my legs, my blood had begun rushing to my cheeks and ears in embarrassment from having to do this. I was unused to showing myself off in this way, even with Kelly, and felt a complete fool in front of Matt.  
  
Once off, I discarded my shirt on the floor beside me and rubbed at my hair awkwardly. I thought I heard Matt murmur from his position on the chair, but didn’t dare look up just yet to meet his eyes. My fingers went for the buckle of my belt next, fumbling with the clasp. My hands were sweaty and still trembling in my nervousness, though if Matt saw me shaking at any point, he didn’t say anything about it. Looking back on it now, I think Matt entirely enjoyed watching me come undone like this; he got off on his ability to make me a nervous wreck.  
  
Finally winning the battle with my belt, I withdrew it from the loops of my jeans in a slow, careful motion, pausing a moment with it in my hand before dropping it to the floor. I swallowed hard, my heart hammering in my ribcage as I tried to gather myself together for the next part.  
  
Almost unconsciously, my hand came up to rub nervously across my chest and down my belly, and I jumped a little at the sound of Matt’s voice again. It was a soft exhalation from his lips of what sounded like _yeah_ , and I glanced up instinctively. I was met with the sight of Matt in the same position as earlier, except with his other hand lingering over the bulge that was now evident in his trousers, and an aroused flush in his cheeks. The look he was giving me was smouldering to say the least – the intensity of it was staggering to the degree that I had to look at the floor again. I couldn’t quite yet cope with the revelation that it was _me_ making Matt feel that way, that me taking my clothes off stirred such a carnal desire in him.  
  
I unbuttoned the fly of my jeans, watching my fingers as they tugged the zipper down, and I let my trousers hang open for a few moments. Self-consciously, I turned away from Matt, and began to slide my jeans down over my hips. I expected him to berate me for this, for hiding the front of myself from view, but he didn’t. I was relieved he granted me this small mercy, and perhaps he suspected I’d bottle it if I didn’t at least get a little reprieve from the shame I felt. Whatever his reasons, it enabled me to bring myself to shimmy awkwardly out of my trousers and kick them to one side.  
  
For several long, silent seconds I just stood there in my boxers, heart in my throat and fingers fidgeting on my thighs. Without even looking in Matt’s direction, I could feel his eyes on me – gaze roving my body hungrily, and mind formulating plans of all the things he wanted to do with me and to me.  
  
“I didn’t say stop.”  
  
His statement made my stomach drop, and a prickly wave of dread washed over me.  
  
“Matt...” My voice was small in its protest.  
  
“ _Chris_.”  
  
His tone was sharp, in warning. He’d been clear from the start that I needed to do what he said, but now it came down to it I found myself fighting it. The irrational and fearful part of my brain was telling me that this was a terrible idea, and I might find myself laughed at or ridiculed when I stood bollock naked in front of him. But the more sensible part of my brain knew that Matt would never do that to me, because although he wanted to humiliate and tease me, he equally wanted me to be turned on and beg him for more.  
  
I balled my fists, swallowing hard.  
  
“Okay. Alright. Alright.”  
  
I exhaled shakily and unclenched my fists, pushing my thumbs under the waistband of my boxers. Slowly and carefully, I pulled the elastic forward and over to avoid catching my erection on the way down. Despite my nervousness and embarrassment about my own body, simply being in the room with Matt like this, and him wanting me like he did, was enough to sustain the raging hard-on he’d generated in me earlier. That in itself was another source of shame – I was already overexcited, like a horny teenager. So I kept my back to him as I slid the boxers over my hips and thighs, allowing them to pool at my feet.  
  
Again I stopped, silent and awaiting Matt’s instructions. I knew he was deliberately leaving long pauses between directions and actions, to increase the tension in the air and make me feel even more anxious about what was to come. I ran my hands down my sides in an attempt to calm myself, also taking a few deep breaths to clear my head.  
  
“Lie down on the bed. Face up.”  
  
I’d known he wasn’t going to allow me to conceal myself from him for very long.  
  
I nodded slightly and slid a knee up onto the bed, climbing onto the mattress. Still not meeting his eyes, I rolled over and shuffled myself backwards toward the headboard, keeping my knees pulled up. I shifted my weight until I got comfortable, propping my head and shoulders against the stack of pillows at the end.  
  
I cringed as Matt spoke again in that slightly disapproving tone.  
  
“Legs down, Chris.”  
  
Sighing, I reluctantly straightened my legs, allowing him to now see me in this state of nudity and arousal. The head of my cock was wet with pre-come and pressed against my belly, and I hoped he wouldn’t be looking there to see how turned on I was already. I knew those prayers were in vain though, because I could feel his heated gaze on my skin. I ran a hand over my face, my cheeks still flushed with shame and discomfort.  
  
I heard a quiet groan from his position in the chair, and was finally able to bring myself to look at him again.  
  
Matt’s eyelids were heavy and his head tilted back slightly, showing off the long, pale expanse of his throat. One set of fingers were still at his mouth, two digits pressed between his teeth and the others resting on lips and chin. I could see his chest rising and falling heavily as he took laboured breaths, and the flush of desire in his cheeks had now spread to his neck and what I could see of his chest. His shirt had been unbuttoned slightly, and his legs appeared at a wider angle, heel balancing precariously on the corner of his knee.  
  
But it was his other hand that caught my attention, still placed between his legs as before. Only now the bulge in his trousers was much more obvious; the pronounced shape of an erection pressed out against the thin, grey fabric a clear demonstration of how much he was enjoying himself. His fingers traced up and down the length, pushing back and forth in earnest to stimulate himself as he looked at me.  
  
I swallowed, my mouth dry, and I felt a shiver of heat wash over me at the sight of Matt like that. He looked so raw, penetrating blue eyes soaked in sex, yet still somehow completely in control. More blood rushed down to my cock in response.  
  
“Open them.”  
  
I furrowed my brow at him, hoping to fool him into thinking I didn’t know what he meant. “Sorry?”  
  
Matt moved a hand away from his mouth slightly and gave me a pointed look.  
  
“Legs. I want them open so I can see you.”  
  
Squirming, I moved my knees apart, hand still at my face in embarrassment. Matt grunted, biting down on his fingertips again and flaring his nostrils. He then licked at his lips and shook his head almost imperceptibly.  
  
“Wider.”  
  
I stared at him pleadingly, not going any further. His eyebrow shot up again and he set his hand down on his thigh.  
  
“Bend your knees if you have to, but I want them spread.”  
  
Blanching, I lowered my eyes and shook my head slowly. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wasn’t ready to be that humiliated yet.  
  
“Can’t,” I mumbled.  
  
Matt removed his ankle from across his knee and leaned forward in his seat. I glanced up to see him narrowing his eyes at me, grip tightening on his legs.  
  
“I don’t want to hear that shit. Just do it.”  
  
I didn’t move. I flinched as Matt stood up, a growling noise of irritation gathering in his throat. He kicked his shoes off and was over by the bed in a few short, sharp strides.  
  
“You’ll fucking do what I tell you, or else.”  
  
Each time he spoke, his tone got that more threatening, and I felt a knot of dread develop in my stomach in response. I sighed, rubbing at my face again before meeting his eyes.  
  
“Not yet. Give me a minute, please. I’m not ready,” I said weakly.  
  
“I don’t give a fuck if you’re ready or not. This is about what _I_ want,” Matt informed me.  
  
He stood over me glowering and I pulled my legs back up instinctively, shying away from his gaze and menacing posture. I flinched as he lifted a leg onto the mattress and knelt on the bed below me, his jaw tensing and releasing. He sat back on his heels, legs parted, and grabbed roughly at my knees.  
  
His fingers were firm on my skin, an extension of the authoritarian air that radiated from his features, and I swallowed nervously. In reality, I could easily overpower him if I wanted to, given my height and weight advantage over him, but there was something about the way he looked at me and the impression of force in his grip that prevented me from doing so.  
  
“Open. Your. Legs.”  
  
Each word was harsh and biting as it left Matt’s lips, a command that I knew I shouldn’t disobey. But part of me was still too stubborn to voluntarily debase myself just yet, and I remained frozen. I watched Matt’s nostrils flare again and the tendons in his neck tightened as he tried to contain his frustration at my refusal.  
  
Evidently growing tired of my insubordination, Matt suddenly yanked my legs down and away from one another, slamming my thighs apart in a rough, unkind motion to force me to comply. I cried out and struggled for a moment, but Matt pressed his arms forward to hold me firm and lean his body over me. His knees pushed up against the bottom of my thighs to keep my legs parted, and I let out a pathetic groan of shame as I was spread out for him to see completely.  
  
I raised a hand to my face again, turning my head to one side and closing my eyes, I frowned to myself. The vulnerability was overwhelming. I couldn’t cope.  
  
I lay in uncomfortable silence for a few moments, my heart pounding in my ears, before Matt spoke again.  
  
“Better. Much better.”  
  
The last syllables of his words seemed to catch thickly in his throat, and I risked a look in his direction, opening my eyes in curiosity. He wasn’t looking at my face, his head tilted down slightly and eyelids drooped to fix on the area between my legs. His lips were parted, damp with saliva, and his expression one of blatant desire.  
  
My stomach tightened at the sight of him like this, partly because I was still ashamed of someone seeing me in such an exposed state, and partly because it was now obvious how much he wanted me, and was enjoying this.  
  
When he looked back up at me, his mouth curled into a wicked smirk and his eyes flashed. Lifting one hand from my thigh, he replaced it at my collarbone, spreading his fingers out across my skin. He leaned forward, allowing his weight to bear down on my chest and brought his face close to mine. The fabric of his shirt hung down to brush slightly against my cock, and I groaned at the contact.  
  
I half-expected him to say something then, berate me again or tell me what he was about to do to me, but his lips closed over mine instead. He kissed me hard, deeper probably than anyone else ever had, the force of his mouth pushing my head down into the pillow and almost smothering me.  
  
I was gasping for air when he pulled away, his nose still only an inch away from mine as his eyes pinned me in place. I realised then that sometimes he didn’t even need to speak. The confident, sinful expression on his face, coupled with that sex-flooded gaze said everything I needed to know.  
  
And from that, my brain went into overload and I felt a sudden rush of surrender. I licked my lips, trembling as I spoke to him, begging.  
  
“Hurt me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unlikely I'll ever finish this, but I like the premise so thought I'd share what I have anyway.


End file.
